Escape to the Movies: Alice in Wonderland

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Damnit Bob, I was hoping you would say this movie was amazing. I'm going to see next week (because of girl, damn you spring-time love) and I was hoping it would be somewhat good. Oh well, Hathaway is in it so I guess I'll focus on that.

Marlun_42:
Why does the Mad Hatter have a broadsword? They got Tolkien in my Carroll. And it doesn't taste very good.

Meh, if you're going to have a Tolkien'esq final battle, why not give the Hatter a sword? He'd make a good berserker. They even have the good sense to put him out front, with his allies WELL behind him in case he hacks at them too. ;)

Well either the movie industry is getting more predictable or I'm just getting better at predicting the movie industry and consumers in general.

First of all: Marla Singer as the Red Queen/Queen of Hearts. Anyone else find that funny?

When I first saw the trailer, I got really, really excited. I've never read Alice in Wonderland, and I've never seen any film adaptations for it, but I know the short version. Usually, this is exactly the kind of story that Tim Burton would be best suited for, right?

That was why I was optimistic until I saw the second half of the trailer.

"Cool! Alice is BACK in Wonderland! And everything's presented all creepy and Tim Burton-y! Wait...why does the Hatter have a sword? And why are there two epic armies marching in unison toward each other in a scene that promises to be an epic battle akin to the fight scene at the end of the first Narnia movie? Oh, Jesus. No, they didn't. They couldn't have. Not with...Alice in Wonderland of all things. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just watch the trailer to the end and see how horribly wrong I was."

Apparently, I wasn't wrong. This is just Alice in Narnia. It's a cynical combination of the three things that Disney knows will sell: contemporary adaptations of beloved classics, over the top special affects, and epic fight scenes. "To hell with congruity," says the Disney marketing directors. "If you produce it, they will come!"

Maybe Helena Bonham Carter being in this movie is a sign. Yeah, that must be it.

Anyone up for going Tyler Durden on Disney HQ?

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

I DISAGREE WITH MOVIEBOB!!! FLAME FLAME FLAME!!!

Seriously, Moviebob's reviews are alwase thoughtful, intelligent, and completely to the point. He provides valid reasons why most people might not like this movie ad he does so in an intelligent manner like a professional. If you don't like him you don't have to watch or post here at all.

Oh and if you honestly thought Tim Burton's horrible movie was the best adaptation yet then you haven't seen American McGee's Alice. Or heck, even the disney movie was better than this.

I could tell it was going to be bad, but an epic fantasy battle? HOOOOO! The only way anyone thought this was a good idea was because Burton was directing... and well, the studio execs are idiots.

I guess the time period of once good directors making crappy movies by forgetting what made their older ones so good (lucas, Burton, Speilburg, etc) didn't end with the last decade. Shame really.

Yes...look at you look at you.

Anyway. Quick question. You say that the visuals are good, but the rest is bland formulaic shallow Hollywood nonsense. Well, what's the difference between this and Avatar then?

Shuzzam!

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

Again, it's all based on opinion, no amount of 'professionalism' will change that. The reviewer you like is no more qualified than Movie Bob, since taste is not an objective thing.

Sylocat:
Again, I thank the Escapist for that ad, which will drastically reduce the number of people with brains who will actually buy that game, thus keeping the multiplayer servers of games I like free of morons.

Wouldn't it just increase the number of people that aren't morons? It would shift the ratio, methinks.

God damn it, I hate Tim Burton and all the bullshit recognition he gets for his sub-par directing. I was expecting it to be bad and this confirmed. No doubt I'll probably be dragged to see this by my girl friends (notice the space) and have to sit through a couple of hours of looking into Burton's weird mind.

How does it compare to this Alice version http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1461312/ in which an Alice returns to Wonderland, supposedly the "best Alice in Wonderland film evah!"

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

Again, it's all based on opinion, no amount of 'professionalism' will change that. The reviewer you like is no more qualified than Movie Bob, since taste is not an objective thing.

I'm siding with my good pal Clarion here. I just want to say that if your opinion is to see the film then form your opinion, you're an idiot. If I want to know if a film is worth seeing, I watch a review. I don't go and watch the film, realise it's good then go and watch it, do I?

P.S Yes, I notice that this is quoting the wrong person, I'm just lazy.

Thought this wouldve be one of Burtons better films but i suppose not.

Oh good. Glad to see Bob's pulled his head of his ass and got back to making excellent points.

I'd like to quote everything you said about Burton, and this movie in particular, for great justice.

Sexually active thirteen-year-olds need a new hero, 'cause Burton sucks hard.

Burn down Hot Topic.

Peace.

AlternatePFG:
Ugh, I was looking forward to this to. Seriously, why couldn't make a faithful adaptation to story and call it day?

Still go see it. I am not a manager at hot topic, and I absolutely loved this movie! The review strikes me as a "not funny, yahtzee style review".

While I definitely agree, as much as I love both of them, that Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter need to GTFO Tim Burton's main character list for a good long while, and while the third act of this movie was definitely a let down, I honestly enjoyed the movie.

I think the main reason the story DID work for me was that, unlike moviebob, I didn't see it as a good vs evil throwdown in the end. The emphasis seemed to be about the flimsiness of declarations of destinies in general. While Wonderland knows the decision she'll make in the end (after all, it IS her world) the real world gets a nice shock when she applies what she learned about destiny/making choices during the course of the movie to her current situation. I thought the parallels to her situation in the waking world (reflected even in a few of the characters...for instance, her soon-to-be mother-in-law = Red Queen) were amusing, and while nothing in the movie really surprised me or seemed a revolution in anyway, it was satisfying as an entertainment vehicle for me.

If I wanted darker and grittier, I'd go play American McGee's Alice. If I wanted acid-trippy randomness, Disney's original still works great. Having a middle-ground isn't such a terrible thing.

I followed everything until you said Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was bad!

I thought that was an awesome movie, at least compared to the old one.
Not that I'm saying the old one was bad, i loved that too, but the remake added more a ton more personality and exploration.

cball11:
Sexually active thirteen-year-olds need a new hero, 'cause Burton sucks hard.

They have one, he's called Edward and he's a paedophile "vampire".

Dark Templar:

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

I DISAGREE WITH MOVIEBOB!!! FLAME FLAME FLAME!!!

Seriously, Moviebob's reviews are alwase thoughtful, intelligent, and completely to the point. He provides valid reasons why most people might not like this movie ad he does so in an intelligent manner like a professional. If you don't like him you don't have to watch or post here at all.

Oh and if you honestly thought Tim Burton's horrible movie was the best adaptation yet then you haven't seen American McGee's Alice. Or heck, even the disney movie was better than this.

*Facepalm*

First of all, there's no such thing as an unbiased opinion. We see everything through the lens of our tastes, our experiences, and our personal values. No human being can ever have an objective opinion because opinions are the essence of subjectivity.

Second of all, when judging art, the last thing you want to do is be objective. Judging it with objectivity implies that there is an ideal work that you're comparing it to, and there is no ideal work of art, because art is meant to appeal to the personal tastes of people.

Third of all, Roger Motherfucking Ebert? Really? The only bigger hack than him in the film industry is Michael Bay. He's the type of critic who does try to be objective, and all he succeeds in doing is missing the point of many good movies entirely and coming off a bloated, self-important ass. And just because he's old, has been in the movie business for years, and has written books about movies doesn't mean he's got "credentials." By that same logic Ed Wood was a filmmaking expert when he made "Plan 9", and Uwe Boll was an expert when he made "Alone In The Dark."

Also, in his review for Pulp Fiction, he spoiled one of the greatest scenes in the movie by showing it while speaking loudly over the already lowered audio, pointing out specific filmmaking decisions that Tarentino made. He ruined the gimp scene so he could show off how movie-savvy he is. The man is NOT an expert. He's a pompous ass.

iŽd say more of Jeanne DŽArc than valkyrie

Oh, you gotta be kidding me! This is the only video on the whole Escapist that doesn't work for me.

303: Failed to load a resource: Unable to load resources: Error #2036
Can anyone please help?

There was a book about this that I read, I can't remember the title for the life of me. I haven't seen this movie, but the book is really similar to what you're talking about Bob.

So his main argument is that while it looks very nice, it's let down by a clichéd plot? This coming from the guy who's rooting for Avatar to win Best Picture...

In all seriousness, I'm still going to see it anyway. The trouble with Wonderland is that the original book doesn't have much of a narrative structure. Girl enters strange world, girl meets strange characters, girl leaves strange world without any significant personality changes. That's pretty much it. I don't know for sure if this version will offer something different, as Burton has been keen to talk up in interviews, but visually, it should be an excellent re-creation of Wonderland.

Also, I liked Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.

So, I've got free tickets to the movies. Is it worth seeing this on the big screen for free? Or wait to pay a few bucks on DVD? I'm leaning towards the free aspect.

Burton, we are disappoint.

REALLY disappoint :(

i friggin loved the movie!! i saw the midnight showing in 3d and it was a really visually tasteful movie. i will agree that the storyline was weak but the characters were awesome and really well done in my opinion.

feel free to judge me or disagree with me, but reguardless, getting high and seeing that movie in 3D was the best choice ive ever made.

I wasn't even looking forward to this in the slightest. When I learned it wasn't an adaptation of the original work, but a fucking sequel (seriously, what the fuck?) I lost all faith in the project. Tim Burton has gone steadily downhill with his last few movies.

Not to mention The Nightmare Before Christmas has been forever scarred by the masses of emo kiddies. (Pun not intended)

Vredesbyrd67:

Dark Templar:

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

I DISAGREE WITH MOVIEBOB!!! FLAME FLAME FLAME!!!

Seriously, Moviebob's reviews are alwase thoughtful, intelligent, and completely to the point. He provides valid reasons why most people might not like this movie ad he does so in an intelligent manner like a professional. If you don't like him you don't have to watch or post here at all.

Oh and if you honestly thought Tim Burton's horrible movie was the best adaptation yet then you haven't seen American McGee's Alice. Or heck, even the disney movie was better than this.

*Facepalm*

First of all, there's no such thing as an unbiased opinion. We see everything through the lens of our tastes, our experiences, and our personal values. No human being can ever have an objective opinion because opinions are the essence of subjectivity.

Second of all, when judging art, the last thing you want to do is be objective. Judging it with objectivity implies that there is an ideal work that you're comparing it to, and there is no ideal work of art, because art is meant to appeal to the personal tastes of people.

Third of all, Roger Motherfucking Ebert? Really? The only bigger hack than him in the film industry is Michael Bay. He's the type of critic who does try to be objective, and all he succeeds in doing is missing the point of many good movies entirely and coming off a bloated, self-important ass. And just because he's old, has been in the movie business for years, and has written books about movies doesn't mean he's got "credentials." By that same logic Ed Wood was a filmmaking expert when he made "Plan 9", and Uwe Boll was an expert when he made "Alone In The Dark."

Also, in his review for Pulp Fiction, he spoiled one of the greatest scenes in the movie by showing it while speaking loudly over the already lowered audio, pointing out specific filmmaking decisions that Tarentino made. He ruined the gimp scene so he could show off how movie-savvy he is. The man is NOT an expert. He's a pompous ass.

Did you mean to quote me or the guy I am quoting? Cause I never used the words "unbiased" or "objective" and said nothing about Edert.

One two, one two
And through and through
The MovieBob went snarky-snick.
No frabjous day,
He cried dismay
For anyone who sees this flick.

OK, I'm done. :)

I loved the books. I loved the surreal world, coming of age, and cherishing childhood deal.

Are you saying they turned it into some vapid LotR wanna-be? Okay, I'm pissed now.

Alice is a warrior in this film? What the fuck? I...I don't get it. I just don't see the connection.

If only Burton were the first to adapt Alice into an action hero. Or do a horrible dark sequel. No, the world of comics beat him to it far in advance. And I'd challenge him to do a movie without either of his significant others. They're both great actors, he's a good director, let's get these kids split up.

I'm surprised no one mentioned Jan Svankmajer's stop motion version. Very dreamlike, very mad, and just plain awesome.

Yeah yeah, this probably won't be the best movie of the year. But fuck it, just look at all the shinies!

Dark Templar:

Vredesbyrd67:

Dark Templar:

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

I DISAGREE WITH MOVIEBOB!!! FLAME FLAME FLAME!!!

Seriously, Moviebob's reviews are alwase thoughtful, intelligent, and completely to the point. He provides valid reasons why most people might not like this movie ad he does so in an intelligent manner like a professional. If you don't like him you don't have to watch or post here at all.

Oh and if you honestly thought Tim Burton's horrible movie was the best adaptation yet then you haven't seen American McGee's Alice. Or heck, even the disney movie was better than this.

*Facepalm*

First of all, there's no such thing as an unbiased opinion. We see everything through the lens of our tastes, our experiences, and our personal values. No human being can ever have an objective opinion because opinions are the essence of subjectivity.

Second of all, when judging art, the last thing you want to do is be objective. Judging it with objectivity implies that there is an ideal work that you're comparing it to, and there is no ideal work of art, because art is meant to appeal to the personal tastes of people.

Third of all, Roger Motherfucking Ebert? Really? The only bigger hack than him in the film industry is Michael Bay. He's the type of critic who does try to be objective, and all he succeeds in doing is missing the point of many good movies entirely and coming off a bloated, self-important ass. And just because he's old, has been in the movie business for years, and has written books about movies doesn't mean he's got "credentials." By that same logic Ed Wood was a filmmaking expert when he made "Plan 9", and Uwe Boll was an expert when he made "Alone In The Dark."

Also, in his review for Pulp Fiction, he spoiled one of the greatest scenes in the movie by showing it while speaking loudly over the already lowered audio, pointing out specific filmmaking decisions that Tarentino made. He ruined the gimp scene so he could show off how movie-savvy he is. The man is NOT an expert. He's a pompous ass.

Did you mean to quote me or the guy I am quoting? Cause I never used the words "unbiased" or "objective" and said nothing about Edert.

Yeah, no. Sorry. I was too lazy to cut your quote out of the whole thing.

Heatseeker:

Quiet Stranger:

Daystar Clarion:

Quiet Stranger:

Aura Guardian:
Loved the special message. I've hated a lot of Tim Burton's movies expect for one. Sweeny Todd. And I've have yet to watch a Nightmare before Christmas and refuse too. Judging by your review, this is crap. Thank you moviebob

I think you mean "Judging by your review, you are crap. Thank you bob"

But in all seriousness, if I WAS to listen to a critic I'll listen to Ebert, a PROFESSIONAL who has spent his whole career (or at least a damn many years) reviewing movies, also don't listen to critics, go see the movie (theater or pirated) and judge for yourself, don't let other people decide for you, that's just fucking stupid

I laughed hard. You do know what a reviewer is right? Someone who gives an unbiased opinion on something after taking into consideration every aspect of something. A professional opinion giver is an oxymoron.

Well at least Ebert has some credentials (as in he's spent years doing it) but it seems bob hates a lot of movies and besides Tim Burton's Alice is the best live adaptation yet

I hope you realise that Ebert said much of the same things in his review
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100303/REVIEWS/100309990/1001
He may have more experience but it seems the two agree in this case, on most points at least

At least he gave it three out of four stars! If bob had a star system he probably would have given it 1 star or no stars

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