Zero Punctuation: Alan Wake

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why does yahtzee put his video up late at the same time my internet is slow, ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL?

This is the first ZP I've watched that really made me laugh. Very entertaining -- well done!

This was a silly show this week especially the part about the end with the fat man in a clown costume running around the house. If it was my house he'd be dead on the ground when he touched the curtains.

Wow, first time I managed to finish a game before he reviewed it.
I guess i agree with him on some points, but It's still a lot more fun than he says, good music, the combat is only really simple on easy mode, and this is the first non-rpg game i've seen in awhile that had such a good plot and developed characters.

Not to mention Thanks to the almighty game gods for giving us a main character who isn't a testosterone feuled, absurdly proportioned, muscle-headed neanderthal.

It did sound like he liked it a little bit. Never been a fan of these types of games myself though but nice review anyway.

Brotherofwill:
Hahaha, the dog guiltily shitting in a hat was really good.

When can we finally have a thriller where you can't really kill your oponents, or atleast maybe only temporarily hurt them? The flash/2 shot combo probably removes most tension, I don't see that working too well.

Also, the sexually frustrated bear probably just got there from playing a JRPG.

Hmm, well. I liked the game a lot. Loved it actually, but I still agree with most of the points you make. Not scary, weird character animation and lip synching and a couple of completely brainless decisions on Alan's part. I could overlook that stuff though because I just loved the atmosphere and story so much.

And I disagree about the combat. Calling it original may be a bit of a stretch, but compared to all the coverbased and first person shooting out there it was at least refreshing (Though you'd probably say something along the line of 'comparing dirt to shit is not a good argument') and it simply felt good. Shooting a Taken with the hunting rifle felt extremely satisfying.

Anyway, good review.

I'm surprised he didn't mention how the game is strikingly similar to the classic Silent Hill games, or how incredibly confusing the ending is. I do agree that the wife looks really fucked up and that the lip syncing is off more times than it should be, especially given how long this game was in development. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed the game and am somewhat surprised he didn't like it, although I do understand his complaints, especially about the weapons. There really is no reason to use anything other than the pistol unless you want to get the achievements for killing 50 taken with X weapon.

Very good Yahtzee review. I was thinking of getting this, but I'm setting my sights on Mario Galaxy 2 instead. Though I'm surprised Silent Hill isn't mentioned since this game has a similar atmosphere about getting stuck alone in a town hidden in fog.

NINE years in the making?! Damn, I wouldn't get that game even if it WAS good.

And from Yahtzee's "review" and from what else I've seen about it, happily it doesn't seem to be.

I played the demo, but I decided to pass on this one. I guess I was right about that, this doesn't seem like my kind of game.

Kapol:
Very funny review. I personally liked Alan Wake, but I agree with a lot of the problems that Yahtzee pointed out. For me, the FBI guy yelling various author's names was one of most annoying things. But I do wonder what difficulty he was playing on. Oh well, entertaining at least.

Normal wasn't he? my friend said 2 shots and he always plays games on normal mode.

i still want this game :D like my friend, i can't be bothered to read a Stephen King book (or the stephen king book apparently), so playing a video game will be much easier :p

I was a bit dissapointed with this review, i don't know what it was, but i didn't laugh quite as much as usual... i'll watch it again and see if i laugh any harder this time

I was hoping for RDR this week. Fingers crossed for the next one. Anyone want to make wagers what his complaints will be?

Brotherofwill:
Hahaha, the dog shitting was really good.

When can we finally have a thriller where you can't really kill your oponents, or atleast maybe only temporarily hurt them? The flash/2 shot combo probably removes most tension, I don't see that working too well.

Have you ever played Siren for the PS2? You can only knock enemies down briefly. It's a really creepy game, but isn't well designed in terms of puzzles unfortunately.

ProtoChimp:
OMG OMG OMG! YOU DIDN'T AGREE WITH MY OPINION SO YOU MUST BE WRONG SO I'M GOING TO SPAM YOUR INBOX UNTIL YOU ADMIT THE GAME IS AMAZING AND PERFECT AND GREAT AND *slapped very hard in the face* sorry about that. I liked the game but I undersatnd Yahtzee's complaints.

Haha, good post. ;)

I liked the part about the space program. Funny review as always! xD

FargoDog:

Have you ever played Siren for the PS2? You can only knock enemies down briefly. It's a really creepy game, but isn't well designed in terms of puzzles unfortunately.

You might want to see Yahtzee's Review of Siren Blood Curse before you recommend that game here. Lets just say he wasn't very nice.

Kanjidude:
NINE years in the making?! Damn, I wouldn't get that game even if it WAS good.

And from Yahtzee's "review" and from what else I've seen about it, happily it doesn't seem to be.

why, because careful time and crafting had been put into the game? no, thats fine, you can stick with your brown-beep-boop-robot-company FPS games that take only a short while to make.

lol, i'm joking, i don't even know how much of those 9 years was a waste of time. but still, you shouldn't begrudge a game because the basic idea was thought up 9 years ago

Played it a bit last weekend--seemed kind of repetitive.

Although I agree about the character designs. I'm sick of the photorealism developers are going for these days--you get way too much uncanny valley effect and it creeps me right out. I also played some Soul Calibur IV again and was reminded how creepy looking the avatars are compared to SC II on the PS2.

I might still find a way to play this game in spite of Yahtzee's negative review.

...

Why are there people with torches and pitchforks outside my office screaming about "blasphemy"?

Dude, The bear indeed looked incredibly sexually frustrated, it made me laugh. :)

flowplayer

---

That's the kind of game I would like to play.

Very good, very good. Better than average, although the last few were slightly below par.

Ah it's been a long time since one of these was so funny...

I nearly choked on my tea >.>

Pretty funny review. The funniest it's been for a few weeks.

But if you insult Stephen King again I'll cut your fucking nuts off.

It sounds bad, but then again you make everything sound bad. I just wish they'd actually released this for PC.

The fancy house analogy was absolutely hilarious.

I still don't know if the game is worth getting. Right now Yume Nikki is satiating my scary game hunger.

riottrio:

Kapol:
Very funny review. I personally liked Alan Wake, but I agree with a lot of the problems that Yahtzee pointed out. For me, the FBI guy yelling various author's names was one of most annoying things. But I do wonder what difficulty he was playing on. Oh well, entertaining at least.

Normal wasn't he? my friend said 2 shots and he always plays games on normal mode.

i still want this game :D like my friend, i can't be bothered to read a Stephen King book (or the stephen king book apparently), so playing a video game will be much easier :p

I was a bit dissapointed with this review, i don't know what it was, but i didn't laugh quite as much as usual... i'll watch it again and see if i laugh any harder this time

I think they died in two shots on the 'medium' difficulty. Normal was the 'easy' of the game. But when you had 4 attacking at once and aren't able to hurt them until the darkness is gone (which is what is the main difference between difficulties I believe, the time the darkness takes to dissappear), it can get hectic.

I enjoyed it myself, though I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't complain about the product placement. I guess that ones a bit too easy though.

Alan Wake was dead to me as soon as I realised it was an XBOX exclusive, so maybe (probably) this is sour grapes, but I'm glad to hear it's a bit meh since I won't be playing it. It's not console snobbery, exactly, it's "why would I buy a game system just to play a single game when I don't care about any of its other exclusives" snobbery. Maybe I would love it. I'll never know!

The repetitive Stephen King bootlicking would annoy me, anyway, even if it's being exaggerated here. Silent Hill contained a lot of nods to popular horror icons, but they were all done in subtle ways, like the "Study, Dammit!" poster and street names. It's basic show vs tell. Anything that obvious just pierces the atmosphere for me. "Inanimate objects, such as Stephen King would create, like in From a Buick 8, which still owes me three hours of my life back YOU BASTARD!"

I guess I'll have to give it a rent then. It should at least be funny. Also on the ads for the book at the end why does it provide so little information? All I know is that it's made from trees and has letters inside that were arranged by Yahtzee.
Edit: Looked it up, know what it's about, and have a new curiosity for why it's only available in paperback.
Double edit: He doesn't like King ,eh? Then I'll avoid his advice on books as we are in disagreement. Of course that's just presumption but it seems to have been implied.

This review/rant describes Bioshock better than Alan wake 0-o

Hmm... I can't seem to think of any other games that have horrible combat, bad voice acting/narration and characters that make terrible decisions all the time, but a really good atmosphere. Hmm..

OH WAIT EVERY SILENT HILL GAME EVER.

I don't understand everyone's complaints about the combat. Does it have to do with the difficulty? I would think that by now everyone has figured out that every game made after 2001 should be played on Hard difficulty, or harder. Alan Wake's biggest mistake is not making the Nightmare difficulty available from the start. And the difficulties should be renamed from "Normal, Hard, Nightmare" to "Easy, Normal, and (kind of) Hard".

To be fair, not all of Stephen King's novels are about a writer with personal problems being haunted by an ancient, unknowable evil in small town America. Sometimes, the evil is knowable.
And his best novels weren't anything like that. At which point I take the opportunity to recommend the Dark Tower books to anyone bothering to read my post.

I had heard before about the TV-style recaps at the start of levels, and that concept just couldn't help but make me go "Why?" It was annoying when it was done in Lost: Via Domus and it would certainly be annoying when done in a game not based in any way off of a TV show, thus having no reason to include them, especially when the plot seems to only follow one point-of-view the whole way through. Though, it could have worked if it was done like Yahtzee suggested (encouraging players to turn off the game and do something productive for a while, before coming back), or if it was an episodic release, or if they only implemented the recap after players loaded a save file.

With those recaps and the narration, and the fact that the plot sounds incredibly bad, I'd have probably avoided it, even if it came out for the PS3 or Wii (don't have a 360, I just like watching the reviews).

Not G. Ivingname:
I am surprised Yahtzee didn't mention Silent Hill once during this review. Same kind of foggy atmosphere, same kind of, "stuck in town by self" plot, same bad combat, isn't Alan Wake even made by some of the same people as Silent Hill?

No. I think it was the Max Payne people.

I agree with the characters faces looking creepy and Barry needing to STFU at times, but tbh I didn't find this review as good as others. Maybe it's because I liked the game, not sure. Just didn't really find it that funny.

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