Zero Punctuation Forspoken review Yahtzee Croshaw Square Enix

Forspoken – Zero Punctuation

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This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Forspoken.

For more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out Sailing Era, Pentiment, High on Life, The Callisto Protocol, Marvel’s Midnight Suns, and Sonic Frontiers.

And check out Yahtzee’s other series, Extra Punctuation, where he’s recently talked about how great detective games let you fail miserably and offered an update on his own game, Starstruck Vagabond.

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Transcript

Boy, Square Enix have been killing it these last few years, haven’t they. And by “it” I mean “any desire anyone might have to play their shitty fucking games.” And by Christ have they come out swinging this year. You know how “hangry” means hungry and angry? There needs to be a word that means bored and angry. And hungry. Because that’s what Forspoken brings out in me. Hangr-ennui, perhaps. And you know, on paper the idea sounded rather appealing. Ordinary shlub from real world gets transported to pseudo-medieval fantasy land, has to take the motherfucker over. But then I realised it only sounded appealing because it’s just the plot of Army of Darkness. And Army of Darkness worked because Bruce Campbell was in it, and he elevates whatever he’s in, he’s the B-movie actor equivalent of Worcestershire sauce. In his place, Forspoken has Frey Holland, a 21-year old New Yorker who I think is supposed to come across as “sassy” but I get more of a “richly deserves a paving slab to the teeth” vibe. Her horrible quippy dialogue that’s about as funny as a quadruple amputee with itchy balls is the issue most correspondents latched onto I think but she could’ve been voiced by Brian Blessed and it wouldn’t have helped ‘cos she’s just fundamentally unlikeable.


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Author
Image of Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee is the Escapist’s longest standing talent, having been writing and producing its award winning flagship series, Zero Punctuation, since 2007. Before that he had a smattering of writing credits on various sites and print magazines, and has almost two decades of experience in game journalism as well as a lifelong interest in video games as an artistic medium, especially narrative-focused. He also has a foot in solo game development - he was a big figure in the indie adventure game scene in the early 2000s - and writes novels. He has six novels published at time of writing with a seventh on the way, all in the genres of comedic sci-fi and urban fantasy. He was born in the UK, emigrated to Australia in 2003, and emigrated again to California in 2016, where he lives with his wife and daughters. His hobbies include walking the dog and emigrating to places.