The Callisto Protocol – Zero Punctuation

The Callisto Protocol review Yahtzee Croshaw Zero Punctuation Striking Distance Studios
Recommended Videos

This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews The Callisto Protocol.

For more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out Evil West, Marvel’s Midnight Suns, Sonic Frontiers, Bayonetta 3, Mario + Rabbids Sparks of HopeGotham Knights, Scorn, and Elden Ring.

And check out Yahtzee’s other series, Extra Punctuation, where he’s recently talked about whether games actually have to be fun and also about the scourge of gear scores.

Want to watch Zero Punctuation ad-free? Sign-up for The Escapist + today and support your favorite content creators!

We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for brand new ZP merch.

Transcript

Poor old Jacob Lee can’t catch a break. First he has to deal with people always asking him if he’s still making movies with Kevin Smith, then his space truck explodes over an evil space prison and he gets thrown into the space prison for some unclear crime, possibly littering. Then all the prisoners get infected with zombie virus and become more interested in twatting Jacob Lee to death than in trading cigarettes for handjobs, and if all that weren’t enough to put the bow on Jacob Lee’s shitty day, he then has to spend the next ten hours being the protagonist of a fucking awful video game. But be realistic, Jacob Lee, you’re hardly Silent Hill material, you’d need to learn more than two facial expressions besides Stupid Confused and Stupid Neutral. The Callisto Protocol, then, unashamed Dead Space clone by what has retroactively been revealed to be the less competent of the two creators of Dead Space. So you should know what to expect of the basic gameplay – third person creeping through dark metal corridors, frequent ambushes by screaming ambulatory piles of expired deli meat, and several NPC support characters whose plans always seem to boil down to Jacob having to make his way through nine levels of murder basement while they stay in an air conditioned computer room making sure the screen saver doesn’t come on.

related content
Read Article Thirsty Suitors Review
Thirsty Suitors Review: A story-driven RPG by Outerloop Games that features one of the best stories in a game this year
Read Article Jusant Review
Jusant Review: An excellent puzzle climbing game developed and published by Don't Nod, where you embark on a journey ascending a massive mountain shrouded in mystery.
Read Article Where Did All the Stealth Games Go? – Extra Punctuation
This week on Extra Punctuation, Yahtzee wonders where all stealth games have gone to.
Related Content
Read Article Thirsty Suitors Review
Thirsty Suitors Review: A story-driven RPG by Outerloop Games that features one of the best stories in a game this year
Read Article Jusant Review
Jusant Review: An excellent puzzle climbing game developed and published by Don't Nod, where you embark on a journey ascending a massive mountain shrouded in mystery.
Read Article Where Did All the Stealth Games Go? – Extra Punctuation
This week on Extra Punctuation, Yahtzee wonders where all stealth games have gone to.
Author
Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee is the Escapist’s longest standing talent, having been writing and producing its award winning flagship series, Zero Punctuation, since 2007. Before that he had a smattering of writing credits on various sites and print magazines, and has almost two decades of experience in game journalism as well as a lifelong interest in video games as an artistic medium, especially narrative-focused. He also has a foot in solo game development - he was a big figure in the indie adventure game scene in the early 2000s - and writes novels. He has six novels published at time of writing with a seventh on the way, all in the genres of comedic sci-fi and urban fantasy. He was born in the UK, emigrated to Australia in 2003, and emigrated again to California in 2016, where he lives with his wife and daughters. His hobbies include walking the dog and emigrating to places.